Orrin's Cynical Bogus Autumn Leaves Ploy

After Dear Orrin's 15 minutes of infamy following his outing in the NY Post as the Brooklyn Canine Pepper Spray Vigilante, 2010 has been a bit slow for our hero. Mostly the same old, same old complaints that Orrin doesn't like dogs and their owners in his parks. Yawn.

But we couldn't let this year go by without showing Dear Orrin some love. After all, he has been somewhat less diligently updating his propaganda hate blog campaign against dogs, dog owners, and the now 25-year successful off-leash hours policy, but we want him to know that we care.

As loyal readers of this blog will know, Orrin's been frustrated at every turn and at every level with his jihad against the off-leash hours policy. After his crushing defeat in 2006-2007 when the policy was codified unanimously into NYC Health Code, Department of Parks regulations, and won at the State Supreme Court level, our hero decided the only way to make his presence known going forward was to think up Cynical Bogus Ploys in further attempts to discredit a 25-year old successful parks policy.

First there was the Cynical Bogus Racist Ploy: You'll recall, the bizarro racial theory that Black folks are scared of dogs and that dogs in parks somehow keeps Black people from parks. Dear Orrin's been keeping close empirical statistics of how many "White" "Black" and "Mexican" people he sees in the parks. No doubt this precise and unbiased information will be invaluable for future generations to study.

2. Then there was the Cynical Bogus Rabies Ploy: When Orrin tried to link a raccoon rabies outbreak in Central Park to the off-leash hours policy citywide. Of course, what Dear Orrin must have overlooked was that the U.S. Centers for Disease Control declared canine rabies eradicated in the United States as of a few years back and that out of all animals (including humans), dogs are some of the only creatures that by law and regularly receive vaccines to actually prevent rabies if bitten. Poor Orrin. Perhaps he was absent from class the day they taught immunology. We still think that Orrin should consider staying out of the parks until the raccoon rabies epidemic he warns about safely passes. Orrin's not vaccinated like most dogs in NYC.

3. Let's not forget Orrin's Maniacal Obsession with the park volunteer group FIDO. Due to his Maniacal Obsession with Fido, Dear Orrin certainly has been following the fact that not only does FIDO care about dogs, but also about his beloved birds in Prospect Park, as FIDO members have been leading the charge into protecting the geese. Strangely, Dear Orrin's been quiet on this subject.

4. Of course, one of Dear Orrin's classics was when he compared the off-leash hours policy to Nazi Germany. Orrin must be watching a lot of Glenn Beck.

It's been well over a year, during which time Orrin's gone from being like a fart in a windstorm, to not even that. It's a little bit sad to see all that energy wasted and dissipated over time. Orrin needs some meaning in his life of quiet desperation and anger against his neighbors.

But wait! Orrin's now comes with a brand new Cynical Bogus Ploy! Nice to see that Dear Orrin's been scouring the news for any tidbit of information to distort for his own anti-dog purposes. Everyone needs a hobby.

We'll call the latest Orrin's Cynical Bogus Autumn Leaves Ploy. Please follow closely, because it's somewhat convoluted in its sheer brilliance:

You see, in the autumn leaves fall off the trees. Many trees are located in parks. Dogs like to walk through leaves in parks. Like other animals, including Orrin's beloved birds or the horses that walk through Central and Prospect Parks, dog will occasionally defecate in leaves in parks. Unlike those other animals (birds and horses) the vast majority of dog owners pick up any defecation, but occasionally, some might be left in leaves. Children play in the leaves. So it's possible that children can come in contact with dog doo (left unspoken by Orrin, and bird doo, and horse doo).Therefore, Orrin wants dogs banned from parks! Because not only off-leash dogs poo, but so do onleash dogs.

Of course to extend Orrin's logic away from his least favorite animal (aside from humans), which would be dogs, to his most favorite animals, which would be birds, the field full of large geese droppings and duck poo I had to walk through in Prospect Park's peninsula this weekend would also mean that birds should be banned from the park system. No one is picking up their defecation, and they are all over the place dropping poo that destroys plants, lawns, and spreads disease. Children walk and roll in this field. Every day. Hmmm, I wonder if Orrin ever thought of where his own logic takes him. D'oh!

A Happy Thanksgiving and hugs to the so-called "Committee for Responsible Dog Ownership." All three of them, including the racist hater "Datnoides", who is busy chronicling the goings on of White people in "her" neighborhood. She and Orrin are like separate sides of the same old hateful coin. We're thankful to live in a democracy where haters and crackpots, like the "Committee" get to spew their bile.